2014.

As the year draws to a close I'm reminded of all the different things that have gone on. 

All the trials. All the triumphs. The exciting. The not so exciting. I have grown so much this past year and learned a lot. 

I know everyone always says they are so excited about the new year and blah blah blah. But I am soooo excited! May is when I graduate college. I'll turn 23 in the summer. I feel like the new year will hold a whole lot of new and exciting things for me. Things will really start to change and take-off. 

Growing up is even more of a reality with the start of the new year. Yikes. 

Welp here's to growing up and 2014!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2014

Emptiness.

The end.

Fall semester is over and I'm moving out of my apartment. I will probably never live with these girls again. I probably will never live in Rocklin again after I graduate in May. Crazy. So much has changed in these past 4 months.

Sitting here in my empty room. On the floor. With Lorde radio on Pandora and a glass of wine next to me.

I feel so many different things. Sad that I'm leaving tomorrow. Sad that I won't ever come back to this place. Sad that this is the end of another chapter. But I'm also excited. I have a home for next semester. I'll have a place to live. Praise Jesus. I only have 5 more months and then I'm done with my undergraduate career. My oh my how the time flies.

I wish that I had more to write. But I feel like the emptiness has just engulfed me.

It will probably all hit in the next few days...so stay tuned for that.

Dead Week.

The week before finals.

Practically the most dreaded week of the semester. Well at least in my opinion.

Honestly...this week kinda sucks. It's your last time in all of your classes and your time is spent cramming the last bit of information before the final or going over the study guides. The professors are just as much done as the students. And quite frankly, I'm SUPER done at this point. We have a whole other week of school! I won't be home until 4 days before Christmas. I think that it's just dumb because our last day is the 20th. It's just crazy to me. But whatever, I mean we get a whole month off for break. So I guess that's cool...I really shouldn't be complaining. But I am. And it's my blog. So I can do whatever I want. Haha!

Enough of that. The cool thing I am looking forward to is snowboarding! A few of my friends and I are going next Friday and I am beyond stoked! It's been far too long and I definitely wanna hit the slopes ASAP!!!

Thank you Jesus that this semester is almost over! It's been a long one. But senior year is almost over and I'm glad! Can't believe that I'm half-way through!!!

Faith.

The importance of being rooted in it. I've seen how very important that fact is. Even just in the past few months, I've seen God move and work in my life. Things that have happened that I don't think I would have seen if I was in a relationship. I personally feel like I am a relationship person. I enjoy being in a relationship. There are times when I want a boyfriend. But let's be honest...that is not a good enough reason for having one. Despite my wanting a boyfriend, I also know that this is not the best time for me to be in a relationship. After graduation, I want to leave the country. I want to travel the world and go teach English some where. If that dream becomes a reality, then keeping a relationship would be quite challenging. Long distance is NOT for me. Been there done that haha. 

Getting back to faith and the huge importance of being rooted in it. 
You know the saying, "you can't love someone else until you love yourself"? Well, I feel like that applies to God and faith. If you don't have a strong faith, then how can you be in relationship with someone who does? Or vice versa. Jesus talked about being equally yoked. When in a relationship, both people should be relatively on the same page and should be building each other up. Pushing each other closer in their relationship with the Lord. 

That being said, since I'm in this time of singleness...all my single ladies! I've really gotten to focus on my relationship with the Lord and see how He has been working in my life. Their have been times when I have run to God with trials and triumphs. Where as before I would turn to a boyfriend. I think that God is teaching me to trust and rely on him. That is something that I constantly struggle with. I am a control freak and I ALWAYS want to know what is going on. I like being certain about things in life. So all the trials and triumphs that have been going on are starting to break me of my controlling nature. More than ever I've felt closer in my relationship with God and I know that it has gotten stronger. This makes me excited. I know that everything that I have been experiencing lately is just preparing me for something bigger. What that is...I don't know. But I am okay with that fact. I am just excited in the fact that God has got it all planned out and I can't wait for what it is!

Thanks God for building me up. I'm learning to trust you more and more and I'm looking forward to the future you have planned.

Being active.

Being active can mean a few different things. Committing to more exercise. Doing something in order to gain something else in return.

I definitely feel like I'm growing up. Learning to be active in my future. This hasn't been easy but it's growing on me. I'm starting to realize that if I want something to happen, I need to buck up and do it myself.

For example, next year. I graduate college in May. Hallelujah! It seems like it's been forever that I've been in college and I'm ready to be done and move on to the next thing. I really feel like I am being called to go overseas and teach. It's just a huge itch I've got and I think that it is time for me to move on and go :) But in order for me to go, I need to look into everything. I have to do everything. All the research. Reaching out to contacts...it's all on me.

This is something that has really resonated with me this past year. I need to take control and be proactive in my life. It's tough at times, but I 100% believe that it will all be worth it.

Thank you God for giving me the kick-start to be proactive and take charge of my future. I know that you have a plan, but I can't just sit back and wait for the awesomeness to fall in my lap. I have to grab life by the horns and take it.

Queen B

Oh man. That woman is a performer. I just can't. Words don't even begin to describe.

I got to experience this amazing woman Monday night. It was a once in a lifetime experience and it was worth every pretty penny. FANTASTIC.

Watching her perform was an actual experience. The lights. The smoke. The fireworks. The fire. The dancers. The backup singers. The band. The two different stages. Every single one of her outfits. Like how does she do it?! And she had a baby. What kind of magic is this? Whatever it is, I want some.

One of the best parts of getting to see Beyoncé perform live was that I was with a very dear friend of mine. Getting to go to the concert with her was a real treat. Samantha and I met our first year of college. Fresh out of high school. We lived in rooms across the hall in our freshman dorm. I don't know what it was about that girl, but I was drawn to her and her energy. Sam is always expressive and just so caring and loving. Incredible really. And to think, we haven't been at the same school for 3 years now, and we live in different states, but she is still such an important person to me. A true friend. And a true blessing.

Thanks B for giving us more of a reason to get together after a long time apart. Watching you perform and hanging with Sam was a thanksgiving treat I won't soon forget. Until next time Queen B.